Monday, July 21, 2008

55 hours, 33minutes & 44 seconds

This is a sneak preview of a book that a friend and I are co-writing. We both have only recently begun writing books. Feed back is wanted even if it is harsh but here it is -

I’m cold. My fingers can’t feel my pencil and me heart can’t feel emotions.

I look helplessly at the maths question before me, I love maths but I know that I have no chance of completing in this state of mind – so I resort to looking out the window.

I pass through the day like a ghost – silent, transparent and cold. When the bell goes for the end of school I lighten up with the prospect of seeing Mark. I drag Danni to the top of the hill where St. Greggory’s is and walk to Mark’s bus stop. A mixture of glares come my way, some full of sympathy, others that say you-deserve-it. Judging by the expression on Danni’s face, she doesn’t seem to know the meaning of these either.

I feel lightheaded but lighten up at the end of the day at the prospect of seeing Mark. I drag Danni by the arm all the way up the hill to where St. Gregory’s is and look around for Mark among the many faces. As we pass the main gates I feel someone’s eyes burning into the back of my neck. I swish my head around to meet to ice cold blue, greedy eyes meet mine. Josh looks at me the way that I except a killer would look at its prey. I cringe under his glare and turn away. It’s now that I notice the whispering behind raised hands and the many looks coming my way.

As I pass a group of girls whom I do not recognise I catch a few words , “its like over. He’s had teh girls after him, time he gets freed up.” I am puzzled over this remark and wonder who on earth it could relate too.

Its then that I see Mark, he looks at me as if I am a stranger. I walk up to him and open my eyes but eh puts up a hand to stop me.

“it’s over Adriana.” He says blandly. All I have waited for is the comfort I have with him and now he has taken it from me.

“But, but why?” I stutter, feeling the tears stinging my eyes.

“Why? Is it not obvious? I hate the shops you go to, hate your music, hate the things you like – I hate the things you like. I don’t even think you like me. And you're just, you’re ...”

“I’m just me.” I say, finishing off his sentence. I turn on heel and walk out of there, just like an Ice Queen. -Aloof. Unavailable. Ice Queen.

1 comment:

Ashley Kay said...

Hmm, what kind of writing are you doing? Is this the beginning of your story? Could you give me some more background in your characters? what audience are you chasing after?